The aliens have returned, but there’s no cricket. Our tall, doofus correspondent explains the sitch to them
Alagappan Muthu28-Mar-2020Takemeto Yourleader: Helloooooo. Is anybody theeeereeeeee????Icome Inpeace: Shhh! Something’s wrong. The last time I was here this place was packed and there was this tall doofus with a bad haircut who tried to turn me into an IPL fan.Takemeto: What’s Eyepeeyell?Icome: Uh, long story. Anyway, I tagged him, so it shouldn’t take long to find… ah, there he is.Al: What the ff–Icome: Hey man. Miss me? Wait. What’re you watching there? Can I–?Al: Nothing. It’s nothing. ()Icome: Al! You pervert!Al: What? Just because I’m watching a movie about a priest who becomes a dinosaur and fights crime. Pft. : Oh. Wow! Never? That’s so funny. Anyway, I’m here so you can have the honour of taking me to an IPL game. I wanna watch one live and maybe get on Virat Kohli’s Insta.Icome: Oh sorry, wanna get on Virat Kohli’s Insta. This is Takemeto, by the way. He was the reason there was no invasion last year.Takemeto: Would you stop bringing that up? Honestly, the one time I leave the house without my population disintegrator.Al: Uhm, actually there is no IPL right now.Icome: WHAAAAAATT?!Al: Yeah. There is no cricket; no sport of any kind really. The whole world is in lockdown.Takemeto: For realsies?Al: Yeah dude. See, there’s this virus – Covid-19 – which we don’t have a cure for, and it’s spreading over the entire planet. Sort of like the Floss.Takemeto: Oh I love that. #CantStopWontStopAl: Over 500,000 people have been affected in nearly 200 countries and the only viable solution we have to stop the spread of this outbreak is to drop everything and just stay at home.Icome (): Wow. That’s awful.ALSO READ: The World Health Organisation’s guidelines on how to stay safe against Covid-19 (novel coronavirus)Al: Yeah, but we’ve not lost hope. Like, even in Wuhan, the city in China where the outbreak began, there were people – simple everyday people like me and y–Al: Okay, maybe not like you but definitely like me…Al: Fine! All I wanted to say was normal people were being very not normal, going out of their way to help others in need.
"Don't get so close"
A filmmaker in Wuhan has been recording a video diary of what life is like living in the epicentre of coronavirus, since the city went under lockdown in January
When his wife contracted the virus, he decided to continue to filmhttps://t.co/olYHrCVKNa pic.twitter.com/mrabzH5pwJ
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) March 15, 2020
In Italy, which was hit just as badly and is deep in quarantine mode and still comes up with some amazing human moments. You’ll wanna go through the full thread
Italians in lockdown all over Italy are keeping each other company by singing, dancing and playing music from the balconies. A thread to celebrate the resilience of ordinary people. This is Salerno: pic.twitter.com/3aOchqdEpn
— Leonardo Carella (@leonardocarella) March 13, 2020
And our cricketers haven’t just put their feet up and retreated into their own lives either. We know that one of the most important things we have to do to protect ourselves, and others, against the coronavirus is washing our hands.And Sachin Tendulkar, who is an all-time great, used the influence he has as an all-time great, to send out a very cool PSA on it.
हम सभी कोरोना वायरस (COVID-19) की वजह से चिंतित है।
इस वायरस को फैलने से रोकने के लिए जो एक आसान सी चीज़ हम कर सकते है वो है अपने हाथों को स्वच्छ रखना।
हाथों को 20 सेकंड तक साबुन के साथ धोना अनिवार्य है। हमेशा अपने हाथों को अच्छे से धोएं।#SafeHandsChallenge @UNICEF @WHO pic.twitter.com/63zE8OIvY3
— Sachin Tendulkar (@sachin_rt) March 17, 2020
Lisa Sthalekar ran errands for her elderly neighbour.
I’m checking in on my elderly neighbour and grabbing any groceries she needs. What are you doing to help? #doyourbit #SDAC @dfat https://t.co/CG1jDGPuia
— Lisa Sthalekar (@sthalekar93) March 19, 2020
Jos Buttler and his wife made people laugh under the pretence of teaching them pilates.
View this post on Instagram
Here’s 5 simple pilates exercises to do at home. A quick 20 minutes before a glass of wine and a film on a Friday night. Enjoy @josbuttler
Takemeto: Pretending to teach pilates is important?Al: No, the other part, the laughing part.Icome: So how long do you guys have to live like this?Al: Don’t know. This coronavirus is brand new to our science and while everyone is working incredibly hard to stop it, the chances of finding a cure anytime soon are very remote. That’s why social-distancing is key.It’s also why all sports are halted. The IPL is supposed to be postponed to April 15, but I’d be surprised if we make that deadline, and even if we did, matches would likely take place in empty stadiums. Australia and New Zealand played an ODI like that and it was all kinds of weird.Takemeto (): But it’ll get better. Life is upside down right now and everyone is scared. Scared that they’ll get sick or their family will get sick or that they’ll run out of food…Al: Meh, they actually seem more worried about running out of toilet paper.Takemeto: Would you mind? I’m in the middle of a monologue here.Al: Sorry. Please continue.Takemeto: But one day there will be news of progress and on that day you’ll want to remember where you were so you can tell your children and then their children. You’ll want to be there when the whole world bursts back to life. When everybody is dancing in the streets. When strangers meet and laugh and cry and hug each other, yelling, “We did it! We did it!”.You’ll want to be there when the Eye… peeyell?… when the Eyepeeyell restarts. When all sports restarts. You’ll remember who bowled the first ball, who took the first kick, who won that first game of time-travel tennis. It’s going to suck getting used to this whole end-of-days thing now, but you’ll want to be there when it all gets better.Al: Wow. That’s actually really wise.Takemeto (): Of course it is. I’m the smartest living thing in the universe.Al: You guys should come back, by the way. When we’ve all recovered. And bring those zappy thingies.Icome: They are not a toy, Al.Icome: Helloooooo! All-powerful alien beings to Allll. What are you thinking about?Al (): Uh, nothing. Unrelated note, those zappy thingies work on everyone, right? Like, even you?
